Birthdays and some other stuff and it’s all VERY IMPORTANT, I ASSURE YOU!

19Jan10

Kids,

I’ve been caffeinating!  Shit, I just remembered that I forgot to pick up another water bottle.  Dang.  ANYWAY.

Today is one of my fun also-teacher friends’ birthdays.  I think I punctuated that correctly.  She is an age!  I’m not sure what it is.  At any rate, I was in charge of the birthday festivities, so I have procured a chocolate cake, a tiny primrose plant, a silly card, and generally jollity in preparation.  That’s right, I said I’m fucking JOLLY.  JOLLY, BITCHES!

“Harry” just came in to ask for a letter of recommendation.  I am only too happy to oblige.  I will write this in it: “Harry is a precious, precious child who deserves your money.”  No.  I won’t. But, what a neat kid!  Can I write that?  I will end the letter with, “But seriously: What a neat kid!  NOW GIVE HIM MONEY.”

I had a really great weekend.  Matt and I went snowshoeing, which was hard, but also good and fun and VERY WET AND COLD because I stupidly wore jeans whilst shoeing through snow.   Anyway, then we had our requisite on-the-road beer-and-fries at a hole-in-the-wall.  And then we drove to Saratoga and went hot-springsing and historic,-haunted-hoteling and…when I woke up on Monday morning, I felt like we were traveling, like the old days, like we were off somewhere new, off down the road, oot and aboot and all.  There is something about being on the road that is, well, it’s just where I oughtta be, I think.  But we had to come home.  Conventional, domesticating wisdom would tell me to find ways to make my mundane, stationary life FEEL like traveling, but, you know, there’s something irreplaceable about the physicality of being on the go for real.

For example!  Today, I want to leave the school and go swim for about four hours, and then pass out in the lobby of a posh office complex, and then probably walk to the next county and, uh, wrassle a hog, and then, um, rainbows.  Yyyyeah.

Matt and I were having this talk, and I’m not sure what prompted it now that I think of it, but it had to do with what it is to “find someone.”  Oh, I know: I have a friend who’s using eHarmony to try to do just that.  Anyway, it led into a conversation about how, when we FOUND each other, we weren’t looking for each other at all, and that maybe that just makes us lucky, but that it seems to both of us to be how things work when they’re gonna work.  I mean, doesn’t it make sense that you find somebody to share your life with when you’re feeling whole, and independent, and you enjoy yourself enough to want to share you with somebody else?  I’ve got a really good friend who talks about finding someone to complete him, to be his other half, and while I feel cliched contradicting him, I mean, I feel like that just invites someone who’s going to treat him like less than a whole, and open the door to all sorts of other problems.

But I’m independent.  I like being whole on my own.  I like getting what I need from me.  And, get me wrong do not, I am incredibly grateful to have the relationships I do — I know I’m stellarly fortunate to be loved in general, and to have a partner in crime that loves me so particularly! [wait, I just realized that I said that I am loved in general, lol, I really MUST be caffeinated] — but, well, it’s like backpacking.  There’s something that I love about carrying everything I need on my back.  Of course, I don’t generally backpack alone, either.  Oh metaphor, you are a clever one, telling me how it is!

My point is, I like myself right now!  And when I’m feeling like I like myself, I’m better at also liking YOU.  I don’t think it works in reverse.  So get your damn backpack packed and then find somebody to travel with.  Otherwise you’re just gonna be cold, and your feet are going to be sore, and you’re not going to have any duct tape for your blisters, and you will be hungry the whole time, and your backpacking partner will not be able to carry all your shit for you, because that’s a lot of shit, and also, carry your own damn weight, slacker.  But also don’t carry a bunch of shit you don’t need.  Two pairs of underwear is enough.

[Wash one; wear one; repeat.]

Kids!  Thanks for reading!

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3 Responses to “Birthdays and some other stuff and it’s all VERY IMPORTANT, I ASSURE YOU!”

  1. Isn’t one of the first rules of hiking is to NOT do it alone? And sometimes it’s better to distribute the weight around, that way we both make it to the top! Your whole thing sounds very… capitalistic almost.

  2. At what point do you get to say… this hiking isn’t so fantastic by myself? Yes the leaves are fucking gorgeous… and all that, but why do I fucking care if I don’t get to tell someone? That brain–wave is going to die if I don’t pass it on.

    I don’t know. If you love someone, you’re going to want to carry their backpack, so they don’t’ have to. Maybe I’m tired, but… you can’t SOLO life.

    <3.

  3. 3 J

    Well, that’s why I liked my little metaphor–because you DON’T backpack alone, generally, though it’s not impossible! But you shouldn’t try to carry more than you can carry yourself. Because, yeah, maybe they’re going to WANT to carry your pack, and/or vice versa, but that’s just not very practical long-term. You have to be able to rely upon yourself a bit, and they’re going to have to do the same, or you’re gonna get stuck somewhere, one of you extremely overburdened, and both of you cranky and disappointed that you couldn’t reach the good stuff.

    Like all metaphors, it breaks down if you extend it too far, and of course gets mighty cheesy about five seconds in.


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