I’m not supposed to be blogging from work.  In fact, I’m not entirely sure how it is that the webfilter decides, at times, to allow me access to sites (like wordpress, not like nsfw stuff, gosh) that it’s not supposed to allow me access to.  But today, I’m going to RELISH it, and REVEL in it, and R…blog.

Here’s something I think you should think about today: Today, you should think about how not everything is really all that bad all the time.  Optimism! Let me explain:

Lately, I’ve been having many Thoughts about my career and life in general.  I started by feeling stressed and limited, then began to feel detached and denial-y, and today, I feel just fine about it!  I mean, so what if this isn’t going to be my career forever?  If anything, that cheers me a bit.  If I’m not staring down the barrel of 30 more years of this, I feel like I have a lot more incentive to pour in energy now.  If I know that this is a temporary gig, I don’t feel so resentful of all it asks of me.  Because I will leave before it sucks me dry.  And that’s fine!

Matt says he thinks I’ll have a sort of “slummin’ it” (my words, not his) charm when I start applying for grad schools; he reckons they’ll romanticize my “real world” experience of high school teaching and want to shower me with assistantships etc. as a result.  Well, something like that, anyway.  I worry that I’ll become a pet project, then–one who is cute and quaint and innocuous but not necessarily respected.  But then I remember that I am really fucking smart (book smart, you know) and have never failed to impress in the academic realm.  So, yeah, foot in the door and all that.  And then I will BLOW IT OFF THE HINGES.  Does that metaphor actually work?  Let’s put it to a poll:

I need to work, however, on figuring out what I want to focus on/specialize in.  I have lots of interests, you know, but not a lot of incredibly deep interest in one narrow field.  Maybe I can find a hodgepodge major.  PhD in English, HodgePodge.  That’s me!  Dr. HodgePodge, PhD.

The words!  They come out so much more easily when greased with caffeine!



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