Sunday Sunday Sunday! (edit: Monday Monday Monday!)

19Jan09

I wrote the following stuff yesterday:

Yeah, I’m not entirely sure I have something to write about, but I feel as though I’ve been nearly criminally neglectful of this puppy as of late.

It’s really beautiful outside today, which makes being inside at once more and less pleasant.  I mean, it’s sunny and cheery in here, but why am I not outside?  Officially, I’m “grading” right now.  Which, in truth, I plan to do, and in fact MUST do very soon.  I’m tired of getting behind on these things.  I refuse to bury myself in paperwork

blah blah.  I don’t care about yesterday’s post.  Yesterday I was productive and dull.  This morning?  Lazy and FASCINATING.  Must. Write.  Now.  (As a side note, I just forgot how to spell write.  There again!  I tried to write ‘wright’ after starting with ‘right.’  Blame kids, or the internets?  Probably it’s just the aphasia setting in early.  Speaking of which, do you know that I’m THIRTY in 12 days?  Fucking 30?!?!?!!?!?!!?  I think it’s okay, but I’m trying out getting really dramatic and distraught about it just in case that feels more honest.  I…don’t think it does.)

In fact and actually, I think I need to make 30 the year of trying out things to see if they feel more honest.  As I get older (so old!  Nope, still not working) I find I have a problem with perspective; to be more specific, I find that my ability to imagine things from other perspectives increases while my sense of which of those perspectives is most accurate or at least provisionally true/honest decreases.  Postmodern existential crisis, I guess?  Words, words, words.  The point is that I’m going to try doing more than thinking and see where that gets me.  Trying out things is different than thinking about things.  Right?

So I picked up some crack coffee this morning. It’s become an addiction.  Changes creep up on us.  For example, I don’t consistently double-space after periods anymore.  Also, I’m nearly thirty.  Additionally, remember when this blog was supposed to be about teaching?  Yeah, me neither.

So as my username for this account I’m using something that hearkens (another word I didn’t know how to spell.  What a fraud!) back to my first days on the internet scene, back and back and back.  It seems appropriate.  Apropos!  Fifteen years ago I was vomiting random drivel onto virtual spaces.  Today it’s more rhetorically savvy random drivel.  I think more people read my stuff back then because they knew I was a teenage girl.  Ew.

Today is The Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Oh, I wanted to add something about how Matt and I played chess this weekend.  We played chess this weekend.  For five hours, and didn’t finish our game.  Matt is winning.  I’m trying to blame the fact that I’m bad at chess on the unfortunate truth that I’m not a visual person at all, asserting that when I just look at something it’s hard for me to figure it out, but that when I can talk through it or hear it explained I can do a fantastic  job.  I think that might just be an excuse, though.  It’s quite possible that I’m simply a sloppy thinker and that’s why I suck at ze chess.  Let’s put it to a poll!

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