I am in such a good mood that I simply HAVE to post!!!  Mostly, I am HIGHLY caffeinated!  This is not a problem!

So the semester is winding down, and I’m completely buried in grading, and I have exactly one Christmas present purchased, and I’m constantly strung out on work/stress, but right now, I’M OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone is teaching right now, so they won’t talk to me.  Boooo.  I need to read Chapter 1 of Mechanically Inclined so I can discuss it at my lunch book club meeting.  I don’t wanna read it!  I hate teaching commas and such!  This book will not make me like teaching them; it will just make me vaguely wish I was a better teacher, and also maybe vaguely wish I was holding a margarita.  I’m sure these two things don’t mix.

I need to talk to UNC because the amount of papers they’re making me assign is KILLLLLING ME!!!!!!!!!  I think my circulatory system just shut down right there!  It’s happening!  The integrity of my red blood cells is being compromised by all the stress!  Red blood cells have no nuclei!

I just want to take a moment as well to say that I am really an exceptional speller.  I’m quite meticulous about it.  This may be one of my finest qualities.  In fact, I think GOD has a purpose for my spelling.  I just need to be patient, and try to discover what HIS PLAN is.  If anyone has any great ideas about the Divine Applications of Immaculate Spelling, maybe you could give me hints about what to be on the lookout for.  Until I discover it, I will be in a perpetual state of watchfulness.  Spellingocalypse Advent!  Ready yourself!

I useta think that I was seriously sort of charmed; I had this period in high school in which I kept escaping from death in really dramatic ways over and over.  Today I had another one of those, as I almost killed myself in my car taking a turn way way too fast to try to make a yellow light.  I fishtailed, I scooted all over the road, I remembered to hit the brakes,  I stopped.  Anyway, the adrenaline was intense, and a little painful.  Afterwards, I got that old feeling that GOD (though I’m not religious anymore) was saving me for something.  And really, the spelling is the only reason I can come up with.  I really love to spell.  I can spell these things: Bivouac, Diphthong, Keroauc, Mah Jong.  Those things rhyme, I think.  I can also always spell rhythm and rhyme.  I can’t think of other words that are hard to spell, but I bet I can spell them!  Rhododendron.  Khartoum.

Don’t you see??? I need to keep honing my superspellingpowers so that I can make an awesome TOOL when the time comes.

I feel like reading some D.H. Lawrence so I can read the same words over and over in different syntactic combinations; what people don’t know about Lawrence is that he’s actually writing spelling primers.  Believe you me, I can definitely spell despise and connexion because of that guy.


3 Responses to “alweioru!”

  1. 1 m

    it’s a joy to read what you write! did i already say that?

    the m stands for mah jong VIII

  2. 2 samaramarabobara

    Keroauc=Kerouac??!!! WTF, Miz Perfict Spellur Ladee!

    Okay, I’m sure that was just a typo, right?
    And I am also certain that your amazing superpower will some day come to great fruition in some grand A Prayer for Owen Meany-esqe way.

    I too used to be a freakishly good speller. Not so anymore. I have degenerated. I think it is because of that traumatic spelling bee in 5th grade, when all of the mean middle-school kids were our audience.

    I glad your powers are still strong, my friend.


  3. 3 J

    Holy NO! I can’t believe I botched la Kerouac. I think it must have been a typo, but still….

    Also, full disclosure: I misspelled “diphthong” the first time I tried. So, it’s all flash and no substance over here.

    Also: Nice job on Ptolemy, samdiddlyara! That’s one of my favorite proper nouns to spell. I also like to insert it into songs that I don’t know the lyrics of. “Ptolemy me vida, soon the desert will be gone…”

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